Question: I have felt inside me a deeply Buried, Revengeful, Cold Rage against all men who have ever forced, Raped Killed Or Hurt Women. This feels like something I have been Carrying within for lives. Please help me uncover and Befriend this old witch.
:The first thing to be clear about is that it was Christianity who condemned the word`witch'; otherwise, it was one of the most respected words, as respected as `mystic' -- a wise man. It simply meant a wise woman, the parallel to a wise man. But in the Middle Ages, Christianity came to face a danger. There were thousands of women who were far wiser than the bishops and the cardinals and the pope. They knew the art of transforming people's lives. Their whole philosophy was based on love and transformation of sexual energy -- and a woman can do that more easily than a man. After all, she is a mother and she is always a mother. Even a small baby girl has the quality of motherliness. The quality of motherliness is not something connected with age, it is part of womanhood. And the transformation needs a very loving atmosphere, a very motherly transfer of energies. To Christianity, it was a competitor. Christianity has nothing to offer in comparison to it -- but Christianity was in power.It was a man's world up to then; and they decided to destroy all witches. But how to destroy them? It was not a question of killing one woman but thousands of women. So a special court was created for enquiry, to find out who was a witch. Any woman said by Christians to have had an influence on people and who people respected was caught and tortured -- so much so, that she had to confess. They wouldn't stop torturing her until she confessed that she was a witch. And according to the Christian mind, to Christian theology, the meaning of witch was changed: a witch is one who is having a sexual relationship with the devil. You don't hear any more of any devil having a relationship with any woman. Either the devil has become a Christian monk, a celibate, or... what has happened to the devil? Who was it that was having sexual relationships with thousands of women? And these women were mostly old women. It doesn't seem to be rational. When young and beautiful women were available, why should the devil go to the old, the very old women? But to become a witch, it was a long training, a long discipline, a long experience. So by the time a woman was a witch -- a wise woman -- she was old; she had sacrificed everything to attain that wisdom, that alchemy. They forced these poor old women into saying that they were having sexual intercourse with the devil. Many of them tried hard... but the torture was too much.They tortured these women in many ugly ways, just for one thing: they should confess. The women continued to try to say that they had nothing to do with the devil, that there was nothing to confess. But nobody listened to them; they went on torturing them. You can make anybody confess anything if you go on torturing him. A point comes when he feels it is better to confess rather than to unnecessarily suffer the same torture every day. And it would have continued for his whole life. Once a woman confessed that she was a witch and was having a sexual relationship with the devil, her torture was stopped and then she was presented before a court -- a special court made by the pope -- and before the court she was to now confess. And once she confessed before the court, the court was able to punish her -- because it is the greatest crime in the eyes of Christianity. In fact, even if the woman was having a sexual relationship with the devil, it is none of the business of anybody else -- and it is not a crime, because she is not harming anybody.
And the devil has never complained to any police station, "That woman is dangerous." On what authority was Christianity burning these women? The only punishment was to be burned alive so that no other woman dared to be a witch again. They destroyed thousands of women and completely removed a very significant part of humanity. And the wisdom that those women contained -- their books, their methods, their techniques of transforming man, transforming man's energy....Don't think that witch is a bad word. It is more respectable than `pope' -- because I don't think a pope is a man who can be called wise; they are just parrots and nothing else. It is possible that it may be connected with your past life, and the wound has been so deep that still some remembrance in your unconscious goes on reminding you. And that creates the hate for men, because what was done to you was done by men. So it is a simple association, but that association has to be dropped. It was not done by men, it was done by Christians. And the Christians have done so many crimes, and they go on doing them. It is unbelievable. And they go on talking about truth,talking about god...speaking lies..And these are religious people trying in every way to deceive the world, to deceive the human mind, to pollute with ugly lies. So don't be against men as such; just being against christian astrocities is enough... For two thousand years Christianity has been killing people in the name of religion, in the name of God, in the name of Christ, in the name of the nation -- so it is perfectly right to condemn them. But not every man is a Christian. To be a Christian is a degradation; it is becoming subhuman. But it will be good to go through a hypnotic process to find out more clearly. Perhaps you may remember what were the techniques of the witches -- how they functioned, how they managed to change people -- because unless they were a danger to Christianity, Christianity would not have killed them. It was a real danger, because Christianity has nothing to offer in comparison.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Mother duty in Child Upbringing
How can I fulfil my duty as a Mother?
: Don't think of it as a duty. One tends to think of it as a duty sooner or later, and the day you think of it as a duty, something dies, something of immense value disappears; the relationship is broken. Think of it as a celebration. The child is a gift from god. Be respectful to the child... not just loving but respectful also. If there is not respect, then love becomes possessive; if there is respect, how can you possess? You cannot possess somebody you respect. the very idea is ugly, disrespectful. To possess a person means to reduce the person to a thing. And once the child is your possession, you are burdened. then it is a duty to be fulfilled, and then mothers talk for their whole lives about how much they have done. A real mother will never say a single word about doing, and not only that she will not say: she never feels that she has done it. She has enjoyed it; she is obliged to the child. It is not only the birth of the child: simultaneously you are born in a new way, the mother is born. One aspect is the birth of the child; another aspect is that your motherhood is born. The child has tremendously transformed you. He has given something to you; you are no more the same person. There is a great difference between, a woman and a mother. So just be loving, be respectful, and help him to grow in such a way that you don't hinder him. From this very moment, from the very beginning, one has to be alert about it. And remember not to repeat the same pattern that you have learned from your mother. That is very natural because that's what you know about how a mother should be, and you will repeat your mother's behaviour with him, and that will be wrong. Be utterly new. Forget all that you have learned from your mother; don't follow that. Be utterly new, respond in a new way. Listen to his needs and respond with a few absolutely certain visions. One is: give love but never give a structure. Give love but never give a character. Givelove but freedom has to remain intact. Love should not be an interference with his freedom. Nobody thinks of the freedom of such a small child, but then when will you think? Tomorrow again he will be small, the day after tomorrow.... In fact the mother never thinks the child is a grown-up person and is able to be free. Never. Because the distance between you and the child will always remain the same. If it is twenty years' distance, it is going to remain twenty years' distance. So from this very moment, from the very beginning, be respectful and give him freedom. And if sometimes he cries, there is no need to be too worried about it. Let him cry a little bit on his own. There is no need to always rush and to always be on your toes to serve him. That looks like love but in fact you are interfering with his freedom. He may not need milk; sometimes the child simply cries. The child simply enjoys crying -- that is the only way to express himself. He has no language -- that is his language; he howls, cries. Let him cry -- nothing is wrong in it. He is trying to relate with the world. Don't try to console him; don't immediately give the breast to him. If he is not hungry, then giving him the breast is like a drug. Mothers use their breasts as a drug. Mm? The child starts drinking, forgets crying and falls asleep. It is comfortable, but you have started trespassing. If he does not want to have the milk -- he is not eager -- leave him. Then he will never need any Primal Therapy. The people who are screaming in Primal Therapy are the people who have been interfered with in their childhood and never allowed to scream. Allow him everything and let him feel that he is himself.
More and more let him feel that he is himself; come less and less in his way. Be a help, nourish him, but let him grow on his own. Even sometimes when you feel that he is going wrong, you are nobody to judge. If he is going wrong, according to you, that is only according to you; that is your opinion. He may not be going wrong. He is not here in this world to follow your opinion. ' And it is very easy to impose your opinions on him because he is helpless. His survival depends on you; he has to listen to you. If you say 'Don't do this', even if he feels like doing it and feels very good doing it, he will have to stop because it is risky to go against you.The real mother will allow the child so much freedom that even if he wants to go against her opinion, he is allowed. Just make it plain to him 'This is my opinion that this is not right, but you are free to do it.' Let him learn through his own experience; that's how one really becomes mature. Otherwise people remain childish. They grow in age but they don't grow in their consciousness. So their physical age may be fifty and their mind is maybe just eleven, ten, twelve, somewhere there; thirteen is the average mind-age of people. That means they stop at that time; and that is the average. In that average Albert Einstein and Buddhas and Christs are included. If you think of actual persons, the mind-age is very low. It comes to around seven to eight; somewhere around seven the child stops. Then he never grows; he simply follows. Give your love, share your experience, but never impose anything on him. And then he will grow into a beautiful person.
: Don't think of it as a duty. One tends to think of it as a duty sooner or later, and the day you think of it as a duty, something dies, something of immense value disappears; the relationship is broken. Think of it as a celebration. The child is a gift from god. Be respectful to the child... not just loving but respectful also. If there is not respect, then love becomes possessive; if there is respect, how can you possess? You cannot possess somebody you respect. the very idea is ugly, disrespectful. To possess a person means to reduce the person to a thing. And once the child is your possession, you are burdened. then it is a duty to be fulfilled, and then mothers talk for their whole lives about how much they have done. A real mother will never say a single word about doing, and not only that she will not say: she never feels that she has done it. She has enjoyed it; she is obliged to the child. It is not only the birth of the child: simultaneously you are born in a new way, the mother is born. One aspect is the birth of the child; another aspect is that your motherhood is born. The child has tremendously transformed you. He has given something to you; you are no more the same person. There is a great difference between, a woman and a mother. So just be loving, be respectful, and help him to grow in such a way that you don't hinder him. From this very moment, from the very beginning, one has to be alert about it. And remember not to repeat the same pattern that you have learned from your mother. That is very natural because that's what you know about how a mother should be, and you will repeat your mother's behaviour with him, and that will be wrong. Be utterly new. Forget all that you have learned from your mother; don't follow that. Be utterly new, respond in a new way. Listen to his needs and respond with a few absolutely certain visions. One is: give love but never give a structure. Give love but never give a character. Givelove but freedom has to remain intact. Love should not be an interference with his freedom. Nobody thinks of the freedom of such a small child, but then when will you think? Tomorrow again he will be small, the day after tomorrow.... In fact the mother never thinks the child is a grown-up person and is able to be free. Never. Because the distance between you and the child will always remain the same. If it is twenty years' distance, it is going to remain twenty years' distance. So from this very moment, from the very beginning, be respectful and give him freedom. And if sometimes he cries, there is no need to be too worried about it. Let him cry a little bit on his own. There is no need to always rush and to always be on your toes to serve him. That looks like love but in fact you are interfering with his freedom. He may not need milk; sometimes the child simply cries. The child simply enjoys crying -- that is the only way to express himself. He has no language -- that is his language; he howls, cries. Let him cry -- nothing is wrong in it. He is trying to relate with the world. Don't try to console him; don't immediately give the breast to him. If he is not hungry, then giving him the breast is like a drug. Mothers use their breasts as a drug. Mm? The child starts drinking, forgets crying and falls asleep. It is comfortable, but you have started trespassing. If he does not want to have the milk -- he is not eager -- leave him. Then he will never need any Primal Therapy. The people who are screaming in Primal Therapy are the people who have been interfered with in their childhood and never allowed to scream. Allow him everything and let him feel that he is himself.
More and more let him feel that he is himself; come less and less in his way. Be a help, nourish him, but let him grow on his own. Even sometimes when you feel that he is going wrong, you are nobody to judge. If he is going wrong, according to you, that is only according to you; that is your opinion. He may not be going wrong. He is not here in this world to follow your opinion. ' And it is very easy to impose your opinions on him because he is helpless. His survival depends on you; he has to listen to you. If you say 'Don't do this', even if he feels like doing it and feels very good doing it, he will have to stop because it is risky to go against you.The real mother will allow the child so much freedom that even if he wants to go against her opinion, he is allowed. Just make it plain to him 'This is my opinion that this is not right, but you are free to do it.' Let him learn through his own experience; that's how one really becomes mature. Otherwise people remain childish. They grow in age but they don't grow in their consciousness. So their physical age may be fifty and their mind is maybe just eleven, ten, twelve, somewhere there; thirteen is the average mind-age of people. That means they stop at that time; and that is the average. In that average Albert Einstein and Buddhas and Christs are included. If you think of actual persons, the mind-age is very low. It comes to around seven to eight; somewhere around seven the child stops. Then he never grows; he simply follows. Give your love, share your experience, but never impose anything on him. And then he will grow into a beautiful person.
Responsiblity of being a Mother
To become a mother is one of the greatest responsibilities in the world. So many people are on the psychiatrists' couches and so many people are in madhouses and so many are out of the madhouses. If you go deep into the neurosis of humanity you will always find the mother, because so many women want to be mothers but they don't know how to be. Once the relationship between the mother and the child goes wrong the child's whole life goes wrong, because that is his first contact with the world, his first relationship.Everything else will be in continuity with it. And if the first step goes wrong, the whole life goes wrong. One should knowingly become a mother. You are taking one of the greatest responsibilities that a human being can take. Men are a little freer in that way because they cannot take the responsibility of becoming a mother. Women have more responsibility. So become a mother, but don't take it for granted that just by being a woman one is necessarily a mother -- that is a fallacy. Motherhood is a great art; you have to learn it. So start learning about it!A few things I would like to say to you. First, never treat the child as yours; never possess the child. It comes through you but it is not yours. God has only used you as a vehicle, a medium, but the child is not your possession. Love, but never possess the child. If the mother starts possessing the child then the life is destroyed. The child starts becoming a prisoner. You are destroying his personality and you are reducing him to a thing.
Only a thing can be possessed: a house can be possessed, a car can be possessed -- never a person. So this is the first lesson -- get ready for it. Before the child comes you should be able to greet him as an independent being, as a person in his own right, not just your child. And the second thing: treat the child as you would treat a grown-up person. Never treat a child like a child. Treat the child with deep respect. God has chosen you to be a host. God has entered into your being as a guest The child is very fragile, helpless. It is very difficult to respect the child. It is very easy to humiliate the child. Humiliation comes very easy because the child is helpless and cannot do anything, cannot retaliate, cannot react. Treat the child as a grown-up, and with great respect. Once you respect the child, you don't try to impose your ideas on him. You don't try to impose anything on the child. You simply give him the freedom -- freedom to explore the world. You help him to become more and more powerful in exploring the world but you never give him directions.You give him energy, you give him protection, you give him security, all that he needs, but you help him to go farther away from you to explore the world. And of course in freedom the wrong is also included. It is very difficult for a mother to learn that when you give freedom to a child it is not freedom only to do good. It is also necessarily the freedom to do bad, to do wrong. So make the child alert, intelligent, but never give him any commandments -- nobody keeps them, and people become hypocrites.So if you really love the child, the one thing has to be remembered: never, never help him in any way, force him in any way, to become a hypocrite. And the third thing: don't listen to the morality, don't listen to religion, don't listen to culture -- listen to nature. Whatsoever is natural is good -- even if sometimes it is very difficult for you, very uncomfortable for you. Because you have been not brought up according to nature. Your parents were not bringing you up with real art, love. It was just an accidental thing. Don't repeat the same mistakes. Many times you will feel very uneasy.... For example a small child starts playing with his sexual organs. The natural tendency of the mother is to stop the child because she has been taught that this is wrong. Even if she feels that nothing is wrong, if somebody is there she feels a little embarrassed. Feel embarrassed! That is your problem; that has nothing to do with the child. Feel embarrassed. Even if you lose respectability in society, lose -- but never interfere with the child. Let nature take its own course. You are there to facilitate whatsoever nature is unfolding. You are not to direct nature. You are just to be there as a help. So these three things... and start meditating. Before the child is born you should go as deeply as possible in meditation. When the child is within your womb, whatsoever you are doing continuously goes as a vibration to the child. If you are angry, your stomach has a tension of anger. The child immediately feels it. When you are sad, your stomach has an atmosphere of sadness. Immediately the child feels dull, depressed. The child totally depends on you. Whatsoever is your mood is the mood of the child. The child has no independence right now: your climate is his climate. So no more fighting, no more anger. That's why I say that to be a mother is a great responsibility. You will have to sacrifice much. Now during these coming seven months you have to be very very alert. The child is more important than anything else. If somebody insults you, accept it, but don't get angry. Say, 'I am pregnant, and the child is more important than getting angry at you.
This episode will pass and after a few days I will not remember who has insulted me and what I have done. But the child is going to be there at least seventy, eighty years in the world. It is a big project.' Even if you want, note it down in the diary. When the child is born, then you can be angry, but not right now. Just say, 'I am a pregnant mother. I cannot be angry -- that is not allowed.' This is what I call sensitive understanding. No more sadness, no more anger, no more hatred, no more fighting with Anand Veda.Both have to look to the child. When a child is there you are both secondary; the child has every preference. Because a new life is going to be born... and it is going to be your fruit. If from the very beginning anger, hatred, conflict, enters into the child's mind, then you are causing hell for him. He will suffer. Then it is better not to bring a child into the world. Why bring a child into suffering? The world is tremendous suffering. In the first place bringing a child into this world is a very risky affair. But even if you want that, at least bring a child who will be totally different in this world -- who will not be miserable, who will at least help the world to be a little more celebrating. He will bring a little more festivity into the world... a little more laughter, love, life. So for these days, be celebrating. Dance, sing, listen to music, meditate, love. Be very soft. Don't do anything hectic, in a hurry. Don't do anything in a tension. Just go slowly. Slow down absolutely. A great guest is to come -- you have to receive him.
Only a thing can be possessed: a house can be possessed, a car can be possessed -- never a person. So this is the first lesson -- get ready for it. Before the child comes you should be able to greet him as an independent being, as a person in his own right, not just your child. And the second thing: treat the child as you would treat a grown-up person. Never treat a child like a child. Treat the child with deep respect. God has chosen you to be a host. God has entered into your being as a guest The child is very fragile, helpless. It is very difficult to respect the child. It is very easy to humiliate the child. Humiliation comes very easy because the child is helpless and cannot do anything, cannot retaliate, cannot react. Treat the child as a grown-up, and with great respect. Once you respect the child, you don't try to impose your ideas on him. You don't try to impose anything on the child. You simply give him the freedom -- freedom to explore the world. You help him to become more and more powerful in exploring the world but you never give him directions.You give him energy, you give him protection, you give him security, all that he needs, but you help him to go farther away from you to explore the world. And of course in freedom the wrong is also included. It is very difficult for a mother to learn that when you give freedom to a child it is not freedom only to do good. It is also necessarily the freedom to do bad, to do wrong. So make the child alert, intelligent, but never give him any commandments -- nobody keeps them, and people become hypocrites.So if you really love the child, the one thing has to be remembered: never, never help him in any way, force him in any way, to become a hypocrite. And the third thing: don't listen to the morality, don't listen to religion, don't listen to culture -- listen to nature. Whatsoever is natural is good -- even if sometimes it is very difficult for you, very uncomfortable for you. Because you have been not brought up according to nature. Your parents were not bringing you up with real art, love. It was just an accidental thing. Don't repeat the same mistakes. Many times you will feel very uneasy.... For example a small child starts playing with his sexual organs. The natural tendency of the mother is to stop the child because she has been taught that this is wrong. Even if she feels that nothing is wrong, if somebody is there she feels a little embarrassed. Feel embarrassed! That is your problem; that has nothing to do with the child. Feel embarrassed. Even if you lose respectability in society, lose -- but never interfere with the child. Let nature take its own course. You are there to facilitate whatsoever nature is unfolding. You are not to direct nature. You are just to be there as a help. So these three things... and start meditating. Before the child is born you should go as deeply as possible in meditation. When the child is within your womb, whatsoever you are doing continuously goes as a vibration to the child. If you are angry, your stomach has a tension of anger. The child immediately feels it. When you are sad, your stomach has an atmosphere of sadness. Immediately the child feels dull, depressed. The child totally depends on you. Whatsoever is your mood is the mood of the child. The child has no independence right now: your climate is his climate. So no more fighting, no more anger. That's why I say that to be a mother is a great responsibility. You will have to sacrifice much. Now during these coming seven months you have to be very very alert. The child is more important than anything else. If somebody insults you, accept it, but don't get angry. Say, 'I am pregnant, and the child is more important than getting angry at you.
This episode will pass and after a few days I will not remember who has insulted me and what I have done. But the child is going to be there at least seventy, eighty years in the world. It is a big project.' Even if you want, note it down in the diary. When the child is born, then you can be angry, but not right now. Just say, 'I am a pregnant mother. I cannot be angry -- that is not allowed.' This is what I call sensitive understanding. No more sadness, no more anger, no more hatred, no more fighting with Anand Veda.Both have to look to the child. When a child is there you are both secondary; the child has every preference. Because a new life is going to be born... and it is going to be your fruit. If from the very beginning anger, hatred, conflict, enters into the child's mind, then you are causing hell for him. He will suffer. Then it is better not to bring a child into the world. Why bring a child into suffering? The world is tremendous suffering. In the first place bringing a child into this world is a very risky affair. But even if you want that, at least bring a child who will be totally different in this world -- who will not be miserable, who will at least help the world to be a little more celebrating. He will bring a little more festivity into the world... a little more laughter, love, life. So for these days, be celebrating. Dance, sing, listen to music, meditate, love. Be very soft. Don't do anything hectic, in a hurry. Don't do anything in a tension. Just go slowly. Slow down absolutely. A great guest is to come -- you have to receive him.
Nice Qualities of Woman
Are Women more courageous than Men?
: They certainly are. These are men just feeling jealous... nothing courageous. The woman is more loving because she does not live by logic, by reason, but by pure emotion and heart. The way of the heart is beautiful but dangerous. The way of the mind is ordinary but safe. The man has chosen the safest and the most shortcut way of life. The woman has chosen the most beautiful, but the most mountainous, dangerous path of emotions, sentiments, moods. And because up to now the world has been ruled by man, woman has suffered immensely. She has not been able to fit with the society that man has created because the society is created according to reason and logic. The woman wants a world of the heart. In the society created by man there is no place for heart. Man has to learn to be more heartful because reason has led the whole humanity towards a global suicide. Reason has destroyed the harmony of nature, the ecology. Reason has given beautiful machines, but it has destroyed the beautiful humanity. A little more heart is needed in everything. As far as I am concerned, the way to your innermost being is closer from the heart than from the mind. Mind is a shortcut if you are going outward, and heart is a very long way. If you are going inward, the whole thing changes into its opposite -- heart is the shortcut to being, and mind is the longest way you can think of. That's why I am all for love, because from love it is very easy to take you to meditation, to take you to the eternity of your life, to take you to your godliness; it is very difficult from the head.
First the man has to come to the heart, and then only he can move towards the being. My emphasis on love has a basic spiritual reason. From the heart the woman can immediately move, and the man can move towards the heart without any difficulty. He has just been wrongly trained; it is only a conditioning. He has been told to be hard, to be strong, to be manly, and all this is nonsense. No man cries and lets his sadness or his joy flow through the tears because he has been told since he was a child that tears are for women, it is girlish. Men never cry and weep.Looking to nature, the whole thing seems to be absurd. If it was so, if that was the intention of nature, then man's eyes would have been made in a different way, they would not have tear glands. They have tear glands just as women have. What is the purpose of those tears? They are needed; they are a tremendously significant language. There are moments when you cannot say, but your tears can show. You may be so full of joy, and tears come to your eyes. Tears are always the symbol of overflowing experience. You may be so sad that words cannot contain it; tears help you. It is one of the reasons why women go less mad than men, because they are ready to weep and cry and throw things any moment; temporarily they can go mad every day. Man goes on accumulating, and then one day he explodes -- wholesale. Women go mad retail, and that is a wiser way, to be finished every day. Why collect? Men commit suicide more than women. This is very strange. Women talk of committing suicide more than men, but they never commit it. Men never talk about committing suicide but commit more suicide; the quantity is double. Man goes on and on repressing, goes on and on keeping a certain face which is fake. And there is a limit to everything: a point comes where he cannot hold it anymore and everything falls apart. Man has to be taught to be more heartful because from the heart goes the way to being. You cannot bypass the heart. The woman is in a better position, she can go directly towards being from the heart.But instead of recognizing this immense quality in women, man has been condemning women. Perhaps there is a reason; perhaps he was aware of some superiority in woman -- the superiority of love. No logic can be higher than love, and no mind can be higher than the heart. But the mind can be very murderous; the mind can be very violent, and that's what the mind has done for centuries. Man has been beating women, repressing women, condemning women. And not knowing that condemning women, repressing women is making them inferior, half of humanity is deprived of raising its consciousness. And you are deprived, because you could also have learned the art of moving upwards from half of the universe. You could also have moved on the same way, on the same path; hence I always say, the liberation of women is also the liberation of man. It is more the liberation of man than the liberation of women.
Yes, women have more love, but they should also be made aware of the other side of the coin. Man has logic. The other side can be illogical. It is not dangerous, it is just a mistake; it can be corrected. That's why I said the way of the heart is beautiful but dangerous. The other side of love is hate; the other side of love is jealousy. So if a woman gets caught into hate and jealousy, all the beauty of love dies and she is left only with poisons in her hands. She will poison herself and she will poison everybody who is around.
To be loving one has to be more alert because you can fall into the ditch of hate which is just very close by. Every peak of love is very close; the dark valley of hate is surrounding the peak from everywhere -- you can slip very easily. Perhaps that is the reason many women decide not to love. Perhaps that is the reason man has decided to live in the head and forget all about the heart... because it is so sensitive, it feels hurt very easily, its moods change just like the climate changing.One who really wants to learn the art of love has to remember all of these things, and has to save his love from falling into all these ditches of hatred, jealously; otherwise, going to the being will become impossible -- more impossible than it is from the head. The woman has to drop jealousy, she has to drop hatred. The man has to drop logic and be a little more loving. Logic can be used; it is utilitarian. In scientific work it is useful, but not in human relationships. Man has to be careful that logic does not become his only way, that it remains just an instrument he uses and puts aside. The woman has to be aware that she does not fall into hatred, into jealousy, into anger, because they will destroy her most precious treasure of love. And both have to move deeper in love; the deeper they move inlove, the closer they will reach to the being. Being is not very far away; it is the deepest part of love, a love which is absolutely pure, unconditional. A love which is absolutely alert, aware, conscious, immediately turns into a tremendous revolution; it opens the doors of the innermost shrine of being. To read to your very centre is to gain all that life can give to you, all the fragrance, all the beauty, all the joy, all the benediction...Women are certainly more courageous. In all the cultures all over the world, it is the woman who leaves her family and goes to the family of the husband. She leaves her mother, her father, her friends, her town, everything that she has loved, she has grown up with; for love's sake she sacrifices all that. The man will not be able to do that. In fact, because the man has been pretending to be superior, he should have done it; he should have gone to the girl's house rather than bringing the woman to his own house.But in no culture, in no society in the whole of history, has man taken that step -- to drop out of his family, out of his grounding, out of his atmosphere, to sacrifice everything and to become part of a totally new atmosphere, a new land, to be replanted in a new garden, in a new soil, and to blossom there. The woman has done it, and done it gracefully. She is certainly more courageous. In love, and in different phases... She loves as a mother, which no father can do; she loves as a wife, which no husband can do. Even as a small child she loves as a daughter, which no boy can do. A woman's whole life is love. For the man, life is a big thing; love is only a small part in it. He can sacrifice love for money, for power, for prestige -- for anything he can sacrifice love. The woman cannot sacrifice love for anything; everything is below love. Everything can be sacrificed, but not love. Certainly she has courage, and man should learn much from women.If we make our relationship a learning phenomenon of experiencing the other person -- not just a superficial sexual relationship, but something deep, intimate, learning of each other's mysteries -- then each relationship becomes a spiritual phenomenon. Both will be enriched by it and, as a result, the whole of society.
: They certainly are. These are men just feeling jealous... nothing courageous. The woman is more loving because she does not live by logic, by reason, but by pure emotion and heart. The way of the heart is beautiful but dangerous. The way of the mind is ordinary but safe. The man has chosen the safest and the most shortcut way of life. The woman has chosen the most beautiful, but the most mountainous, dangerous path of emotions, sentiments, moods. And because up to now the world has been ruled by man, woman has suffered immensely. She has not been able to fit with the society that man has created because the society is created according to reason and logic. The woman wants a world of the heart. In the society created by man there is no place for heart. Man has to learn to be more heartful because reason has led the whole humanity towards a global suicide. Reason has destroyed the harmony of nature, the ecology. Reason has given beautiful machines, but it has destroyed the beautiful humanity. A little more heart is needed in everything. As far as I am concerned, the way to your innermost being is closer from the heart than from the mind. Mind is a shortcut if you are going outward, and heart is a very long way. If you are going inward, the whole thing changes into its opposite -- heart is the shortcut to being, and mind is the longest way you can think of. That's why I am all for love, because from love it is very easy to take you to meditation, to take you to the eternity of your life, to take you to your godliness; it is very difficult from the head.
First the man has to come to the heart, and then only he can move towards the being. My emphasis on love has a basic spiritual reason. From the heart the woman can immediately move, and the man can move towards the heart without any difficulty. He has just been wrongly trained; it is only a conditioning. He has been told to be hard, to be strong, to be manly, and all this is nonsense. No man cries and lets his sadness or his joy flow through the tears because he has been told since he was a child that tears are for women, it is girlish. Men never cry and weep.Looking to nature, the whole thing seems to be absurd. If it was so, if that was the intention of nature, then man's eyes would have been made in a different way, they would not have tear glands. They have tear glands just as women have. What is the purpose of those tears? They are needed; they are a tremendously significant language. There are moments when you cannot say, but your tears can show. You may be so full of joy, and tears come to your eyes. Tears are always the symbol of overflowing experience. You may be so sad that words cannot contain it; tears help you. It is one of the reasons why women go less mad than men, because they are ready to weep and cry and throw things any moment; temporarily they can go mad every day. Man goes on accumulating, and then one day he explodes -- wholesale. Women go mad retail, and that is a wiser way, to be finished every day. Why collect? Men commit suicide more than women. This is very strange. Women talk of committing suicide more than men, but they never commit it. Men never talk about committing suicide but commit more suicide; the quantity is double. Man goes on and on repressing, goes on and on keeping a certain face which is fake. And there is a limit to everything: a point comes where he cannot hold it anymore and everything falls apart. Man has to be taught to be more heartful because from the heart goes the way to being. You cannot bypass the heart. The woman is in a better position, she can go directly towards being from the heart.But instead of recognizing this immense quality in women, man has been condemning women. Perhaps there is a reason; perhaps he was aware of some superiority in woman -- the superiority of love. No logic can be higher than love, and no mind can be higher than the heart. But the mind can be very murderous; the mind can be very violent, and that's what the mind has done for centuries. Man has been beating women, repressing women, condemning women. And not knowing that condemning women, repressing women is making them inferior, half of humanity is deprived of raising its consciousness. And you are deprived, because you could also have learned the art of moving upwards from half of the universe. You could also have moved on the same way, on the same path; hence I always say, the liberation of women is also the liberation of man. It is more the liberation of man than the liberation of women.
Yes, women have more love, but they should also be made aware of the other side of the coin. Man has logic. The other side can be illogical. It is not dangerous, it is just a mistake; it can be corrected. That's why I said the way of the heart is beautiful but dangerous. The other side of love is hate; the other side of love is jealousy. So if a woman gets caught into hate and jealousy, all the beauty of love dies and she is left only with poisons in her hands. She will poison herself and she will poison everybody who is around.
To be loving one has to be more alert because you can fall into the ditch of hate which is just very close by. Every peak of love is very close; the dark valley of hate is surrounding the peak from everywhere -- you can slip very easily. Perhaps that is the reason many women decide not to love. Perhaps that is the reason man has decided to live in the head and forget all about the heart... because it is so sensitive, it feels hurt very easily, its moods change just like the climate changing.One who really wants to learn the art of love has to remember all of these things, and has to save his love from falling into all these ditches of hatred, jealously; otherwise, going to the being will become impossible -- more impossible than it is from the head. The woman has to drop jealousy, she has to drop hatred. The man has to drop logic and be a little more loving. Logic can be used; it is utilitarian. In scientific work it is useful, but not in human relationships. Man has to be careful that logic does not become his only way, that it remains just an instrument he uses and puts aside. The woman has to be aware that she does not fall into hatred, into jealousy, into anger, because they will destroy her most precious treasure of love. And both have to move deeper in love; the deeper they move inlove, the closer they will reach to the being. Being is not very far away; it is the deepest part of love, a love which is absolutely pure, unconditional. A love which is absolutely alert, aware, conscious, immediately turns into a tremendous revolution; it opens the doors of the innermost shrine of being. To read to your very centre is to gain all that life can give to you, all the fragrance, all the beauty, all the joy, all the benediction...Women are certainly more courageous. In all the cultures all over the world, it is the woman who leaves her family and goes to the family of the husband. She leaves her mother, her father, her friends, her town, everything that she has loved, she has grown up with; for love's sake she sacrifices all that. The man will not be able to do that. In fact, because the man has been pretending to be superior, he should have done it; he should have gone to the girl's house rather than bringing the woman to his own house.But in no culture, in no society in the whole of history, has man taken that step -- to drop out of his family, out of his grounding, out of his atmosphere, to sacrifice everything and to become part of a totally new atmosphere, a new land, to be replanted in a new garden, in a new soil, and to blossom there. The woman has done it, and done it gracefully. She is certainly more courageous. In love, and in different phases... She loves as a mother, which no father can do; she loves as a wife, which no husband can do. Even as a small child she loves as a daughter, which no boy can do. A woman's whole life is love. For the man, life is a big thing; love is only a small part in it. He can sacrifice love for money, for power, for prestige -- for anything he can sacrifice love. The woman cannot sacrifice love for anything; everything is below love. Everything can be sacrificed, but not love. Certainly she has courage, and man should learn much from women.If we make our relationship a learning phenomenon of experiencing the other person -- not just a superficial sexual relationship, but something deep, intimate, learning of each other's mysteries -- then each relationship becomes a spiritual phenomenon. Both will be enriched by it and, as a result, the whole of society.
Why is it so difficult and scary to show your Feelings and Just to be Yourself?
It is difficult to show your feelings and just to be yourself because for thousands of years you have been told to repress your feelings. It has become part of your collective unconscious. For thousands of years you have been told NOT to be yourself. Be Jesus, be Buddha, be Krishna, but never be yourself. Be somebody else. Down the ages you have been taught so continuously, so persistently that it has gone into your blood, into your bones, into your very marrow.
A deep self-rejection has become part of you. All the priests have been condemning you. They have been telling you you are sinners, you are born in sin. Your only hope is that Jesus can save you, or Krishna can save you, but there is no hope as far as you are concerned -- you cannot save yourself, somebody else will save you. You are doomed, you can only pray to Jesus, to Krishna, to save you. As far as you are concerned you are just worthless, you are just dust and nothing more. You have no value, you have been reduced to ugly things, to disgusting beings. It is because of this, Deven, that one finds it very difficult and scary to show one's true feelings. You have been taught to be hypocrites.
Hypocrisy pays, and whatsoever pays seems to be valuable. They say honesty is the best policy -- but remember, the best POLICY. Even honesty has become only a policy because it pays. If it does not pay, then? -- then DIShonesty is the best policy. The whole thing depends on what works, what pays, what makes you richer, more respectable, what makes you more comfortable, more safe, more secure, what gives you more nourishment for the ego -- that's the best policy. It may be honesty, it may be dishonesty... whatsoever it is, use it as a means; it is not an end.
Religion also has become a good policy. It is a kind of insurance for the other world. You are preparing by being virtuous, by going to the church, by donating to the poor, for the other world. You are opening a bank account in paradise, so when you go there you will be received with great joy, angels shouting "Alleluia!", dancing, playing on their harps. How big a bank account you have there will depend on how many virtuous deeds you have done.
Religion too has become business, and your reality is repressed. And the repressed people have been respected so much. You call them saints; they are really schizophrenic. They should be treated, they need therapy -- and you worship them. Out of your hundred saints, even if one turns out to be a real saint that will be a miracle. Ninety-nine are just hocus-pocus, pretenders, deceivers. And I am not saying they are deceiving you... they are deceiving themselves too. They are repressed people.
I have known many mahatmas in this country, respected by the masses like anything. I have been very intimate with these people, and in their privacy they have opened their hearts to me. They are more ugly than you will find the ordinary people.
I used to visit prisoners, to teach them how to meditate, and my observation was.... I was surprised in the beginning that prisoners -- even those who have been sentenced for their whole lives -- are far more innocent than your saints, are far better people than your saints, far simpler, far more innocent. Your saints are cunning, clever, and your saints have only one quality: that they are able to repress themselves. They go on repressing. Then naturally, they become split. Then they have two kinds of lives: one that they live at the front door, and the other that they live at the back door; one that they live as a showpiece, and the other -- the real one -- that they don't show to anybody. They are afraid even to see it themselves.
And that's the case with you too, on a smaller scale, of course, because, Deven, you are not a saint. Your illness is not yet incurable, it can be cured. It is not yet so acute, it is not yet chronic. Your illness is just like the common cold: it can disappear easily.But everybody is influenced by these so-called saints, who are really insane people. They are repressed so much -- they have repressed their sex, they have repressed their greed, they have repressed their anger -- and they are boiling within themselves. Their inner life is very nightmarish. There is no peace, no silence. All their smiles are painted.I have heard of a beautiful woman who came from the West in search of peace. She went to the Himalayas. She had heard about a great saint who used to live in the caves. It was hard to reach to those caves, but you know Americans: the harder a thing is, the more they become interested; it becomes a challenge.
So the American lady reached to that peak where the saint lived. He had lived there for thirty years absolutely alone. Not a single human being had visited him all this time, because Indians are very lazy; they don't bother to go that far. They have managed in a different way: every twelve years they gather in Allahabad and all the saints from all the caves come down so they can have all the saints together. They don't bother much to go to the Himalayas. Those who want to be worshipped come on their own.
But the American lady reached with arduous effort, and she told the saint -- he was very old, ancient -- she told the saint, "I have come here in search of peace. I want peace of mind and peace of heart."
The saint said, "Yes, you have come to the right place. You will be given both. Don't be worried, my daughter. It is not difficult. You will have peace of mind and peace of heart."She was very happy. At last somebody is so certain. She has seen many psychiatrists and therapists; they all said that it will take seven years, ten years of analysis, and then too there is no guarantee. This man is so certain, and he looks so silent, so happy... a man from a totally different world, so unearthly.
But in the middle of the night the saint jumped into the bed of the woman. She was so shocked, for a few seconds she could not utter a single word. And the saint started making love, wild love, to the woman.And the woman said, "What are you doing? You had promised me peace of the mind and peace of the heart! And what are you doing?"He said, "First things first: piece of ass! We will take care of other things later on. One has to begin from the beginning."If you repress.... That was his problem. Peace of mind and peace of heart was not his problem; he must have been repressing for thirty years, and he had not seen even a single woman. And I don't know whether the woman was really beautiful or not, because if you don't see a woman for thirty years, any woman looks beautiful! Any woman looks like she is coming from the gods.
Hindu scriptures are full of the stories that whenever a great saint reaches very close to attaining enlightenment, beautiful women come from the gods to disturb him. I have not been yet able to find out why the gods should be interested in disturbing these poor fellows. Some ascetic, fasting for years, repressing, standing on his head, torturing himself... he has not done any harm to anybody else except himself. Why should the gods be so interested in distracting him? They should really help him! And they send beautiful women... naked... and those women dance around and make obscene gestures to the poor fellow. Naturally he becomes a victim, he is seduced, falls from grace -- as if the gods are against anyone who is reaching closer to enlightenment. This seems so ridiculous. They should help. Rather than helping they come to destroy.
But those stories should not be understood literally; they are symbolical, they are metaphors. They are very meaningful. Had Sigmund Freud come across those stories, he would have utterly enjoyed them. It would have been a treasure for him. It would have supported his psychoanalysis as nothing else. Nobody was coming; those repressed people were projecting. These were their desires, repressed desires -- so long repressed that now they have become so powerful that even with open eyes they were dreaming.So I don't know whether this woman was really beautiful, but she must have appeared beautiful to the so-called saint.
In India, if a woman is sitting in one place, the saints are taught not to sit in the same place after the woman has left for a certain length of time, because that space vibrates with danger. Do you see the foolishness of it all? And these have been the teachers of humanity. And these are the people who have made you, Deven, scared of your own feelings -- because you cannot accept your own feelings. You reject them, hence the fear.
Accept them, nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong with you! All that is needed is not repression or destruction. You have to learn the art of creating harmony in your energies. You have to become an orchestra. Yes, if you don't know how to play on musical instruments, you will create noise, you will drive your neighbors mad. But if you know the art of playing on the instruments you can create beautiful music, you can create celestial music. You can bring something of the beyond on the earth.
Life is also a great instrument. You have to learn how to play upon it. Nothing has to be cut, destroyed, repressed, rejected. All that God has given to you is beautiful. If you have not been able to use it beautifully, it simply shows that you are not yet artful enough. We have all taken our lives for granted, and that is wrong. We are given only a raw possibility. We have been given only a POTENTIAL for life; we have to learn how to actualize it.
That's what sannyas is all about, Deven. That's what all the devices are: meditation, therapies -- all possible sources have to be used so that you can know how to use your anger in such a way that it becomes compassion, how to use your sex in such a way that it becomes love, how to use your greed in such a way that it becomes sharing. EVERY energy that you have can become its polar opposite, because the polar opposite is ALWAYS contained in it.
Your body contains the soul, matter contains mind. The world contains God. Dust contains divineness. You have to discover it, and the first step towards discovery is to accept yourself, rejoice in being yourself. You are not to be a Jesus, no, you are not to be a Buddha. You are not to be me or anybody else. You have to be just yourself. God does not want carbon copies; he loves your uniqueness. And you can offer yourself to God only as a unique phenomenon. You can be accepted as an offering but only as a unique phenomenon. An imitation Jesus, Krishna, Christ, Buddha, Mohammed -- these won't do. Imitators are bound to be rejected.
Be yourself, authentically yourself. Respect yourself. If God has given you life he respects you. And do you have higher standards than God himself? Love yourself. God loves you. And then start watching all kinds of energies in you -- you are a vast universe!And slowly slowly, as you become more conscious, you will be able to put things right, into right places. You are topsy-turvy, that is true, but nothing is wrong with you. You are not a sinner -- just a little rearrangement and you will become a beautiful phenomenon.
A deep self-rejection has become part of you. All the priests have been condemning you. They have been telling you you are sinners, you are born in sin. Your only hope is that Jesus can save you, or Krishna can save you, but there is no hope as far as you are concerned -- you cannot save yourself, somebody else will save you. You are doomed, you can only pray to Jesus, to Krishna, to save you. As far as you are concerned you are just worthless, you are just dust and nothing more. You have no value, you have been reduced to ugly things, to disgusting beings. It is because of this, Deven, that one finds it very difficult and scary to show one's true feelings. You have been taught to be hypocrites.
Hypocrisy pays, and whatsoever pays seems to be valuable. They say honesty is the best policy -- but remember, the best POLICY. Even honesty has become only a policy because it pays. If it does not pay, then? -- then DIShonesty is the best policy. The whole thing depends on what works, what pays, what makes you richer, more respectable, what makes you more comfortable, more safe, more secure, what gives you more nourishment for the ego -- that's the best policy. It may be honesty, it may be dishonesty... whatsoever it is, use it as a means; it is not an end.
Religion also has become a good policy. It is a kind of insurance for the other world. You are preparing by being virtuous, by going to the church, by donating to the poor, for the other world. You are opening a bank account in paradise, so when you go there you will be received with great joy, angels shouting "Alleluia!", dancing, playing on their harps. How big a bank account you have there will depend on how many virtuous deeds you have done.
Religion too has become business, and your reality is repressed. And the repressed people have been respected so much. You call them saints; they are really schizophrenic. They should be treated, they need therapy -- and you worship them. Out of your hundred saints, even if one turns out to be a real saint that will be a miracle. Ninety-nine are just hocus-pocus, pretenders, deceivers. And I am not saying they are deceiving you... they are deceiving themselves too. They are repressed people.
I have known many mahatmas in this country, respected by the masses like anything. I have been very intimate with these people, and in their privacy they have opened their hearts to me. They are more ugly than you will find the ordinary people.
I used to visit prisoners, to teach them how to meditate, and my observation was.... I was surprised in the beginning that prisoners -- even those who have been sentenced for their whole lives -- are far more innocent than your saints, are far better people than your saints, far simpler, far more innocent. Your saints are cunning, clever, and your saints have only one quality: that they are able to repress themselves. They go on repressing. Then naturally, they become split. Then they have two kinds of lives: one that they live at the front door, and the other that they live at the back door; one that they live as a showpiece, and the other -- the real one -- that they don't show to anybody. They are afraid even to see it themselves.
And that's the case with you too, on a smaller scale, of course, because, Deven, you are not a saint. Your illness is not yet incurable, it can be cured. It is not yet so acute, it is not yet chronic. Your illness is just like the common cold: it can disappear easily.But everybody is influenced by these so-called saints, who are really insane people. They are repressed so much -- they have repressed their sex, they have repressed their greed, they have repressed their anger -- and they are boiling within themselves. Their inner life is very nightmarish. There is no peace, no silence. All their smiles are painted.I have heard of a beautiful woman who came from the West in search of peace. She went to the Himalayas. She had heard about a great saint who used to live in the caves. It was hard to reach to those caves, but you know Americans: the harder a thing is, the more they become interested; it becomes a challenge.
So the American lady reached to that peak where the saint lived. He had lived there for thirty years absolutely alone. Not a single human being had visited him all this time, because Indians are very lazy; they don't bother to go that far. They have managed in a different way: every twelve years they gather in Allahabad and all the saints from all the caves come down so they can have all the saints together. They don't bother much to go to the Himalayas. Those who want to be worshipped come on their own.
But the American lady reached with arduous effort, and she told the saint -- he was very old, ancient -- she told the saint, "I have come here in search of peace. I want peace of mind and peace of heart."
The saint said, "Yes, you have come to the right place. You will be given both. Don't be worried, my daughter. It is not difficult. You will have peace of mind and peace of heart."She was very happy. At last somebody is so certain. She has seen many psychiatrists and therapists; they all said that it will take seven years, ten years of analysis, and then too there is no guarantee. This man is so certain, and he looks so silent, so happy... a man from a totally different world, so unearthly.
But in the middle of the night the saint jumped into the bed of the woman. She was so shocked, for a few seconds she could not utter a single word. And the saint started making love, wild love, to the woman.And the woman said, "What are you doing? You had promised me peace of the mind and peace of the heart! And what are you doing?"He said, "First things first: piece of ass! We will take care of other things later on. One has to begin from the beginning."If you repress.... That was his problem. Peace of mind and peace of heart was not his problem; he must have been repressing for thirty years, and he had not seen even a single woman. And I don't know whether the woman was really beautiful or not, because if you don't see a woman for thirty years, any woman looks beautiful! Any woman looks like she is coming from the gods.
Hindu scriptures are full of the stories that whenever a great saint reaches very close to attaining enlightenment, beautiful women come from the gods to disturb him. I have not been yet able to find out why the gods should be interested in disturbing these poor fellows. Some ascetic, fasting for years, repressing, standing on his head, torturing himself... he has not done any harm to anybody else except himself. Why should the gods be so interested in distracting him? They should really help him! And they send beautiful women... naked... and those women dance around and make obscene gestures to the poor fellow. Naturally he becomes a victim, he is seduced, falls from grace -- as if the gods are against anyone who is reaching closer to enlightenment. This seems so ridiculous. They should help. Rather than helping they come to destroy.
But those stories should not be understood literally; they are symbolical, they are metaphors. They are very meaningful. Had Sigmund Freud come across those stories, he would have utterly enjoyed them. It would have been a treasure for him. It would have supported his psychoanalysis as nothing else. Nobody was coming; those repressed people were projecting. These were their desires, repressed desires -- so long repressed that now they have become so powerful that even with open eyes they were dreaming.So I don't know whether this woman was really beautiful, but she must have appeared beautiful to the so-called saint.
In India, if a woman is sitting in one place, the saints are taught not to sit in the same place after the woman has left for a certain length of time, because that space vibrates with danger. Do you see the foolishness of it all? And these have been the teachers of humanity. And these are the people who have made you, Deven, scared of your own feelings -- because you cannot accept your own feelings. You reject them, hence the fear.
Accept them, nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong with you! All that is needed is not repression or destruction. You have to learn the art of creating harmony in your energies. You have to become an orchestra. Yes, if you don't know how to play on musical instruments, you will create noise, you will drive your neighbors mad. But if you know the art of playing on the instruments you can create beautiful music, you can create celestial music. You can bring something of the beyond on the earth.
Life is also a great instrument. You have to learn how to play upon it. Nothing has to be cut, destroyed, repressed, rejected. All that God has given to you is beautiful. If you have not been able to use it beautifully, it simply shows that you are not yet artful enough. We have all taken our lives for granted, and that is wrong. We are given only a raw possibility. We have been given only a POTENTIAL for life; we have to learn how to actualize it.
That's what sannyas is all about, Deven. That's what all the devices are: meditation, therapies -- all possible sources have to be used so that you can know how to use your anger in such a way that it becomes compassion, how to use your sex in such a way that it becomes love, how to use your greed in such a way that it becomes sharing. EVERY energy that you have can become its polar opposite, because the polar opposite is ALWAYS contained in it.
Your body contains the soul, matter contains mind. The world contains God. Dust contains divineness. You have to discover it, and the first step towards discovery is to accept yourself, rejoice in being yourself. You are not to be a Jesus, no, you are not to be a Buddha. You are not to be me or anybody else. You have to be just yourself. God does not want carbon copies; he loves your uniqueness. And you can offer yourself to God only as a unique phenomenon. You can be accepted as an offering but only as a unique phenomenon. An imitation Jesus, Krishna, Christ, Buddha, Mohammed -- these won't do. Imitators are bound to be rejected.
Be yourself, authentically yourself. Respect yourself. If God has given you life he respects you. And do you have higher standards than God himself? Love yourself. God loves you. And then start watching all kinds of energies in you -- you are a vast universe!And slowly slowly, as you become more conscious, you will be able to put things right, into right places. You are topsy-turvy, that is true, but nothing is wrong with you. You are not a sinner -- just a little rearrangement and you will become a beautiful phenomenon.
Seeking Attention
It is one of the human weaknesses, one of the deep-rooted frailties, to seek attention. The reason one seeks attention is because one does not know oneself. It is only in other people's eyes one can see his face, in their opinions he can find his personality. What they say matters immensely. If they neglect him, ignore him, he feels lost. If you pass by and nobody takes any attention, you will start losing what you have put together -- your personality. It is something that you have put together. You have not discovered it, it is not natural. It is very artificial and very arbitrary. It is not only you who is a beggar for attention; almost everybody is. And the situation cannot change until you discover your authentic self -- which does not depend on anybody's opinion, attention, criticism, indifference, which does not have anything to do with anybody else. Because very few people have been able to discover their reality, the whole world is full of beggars. Deep down you are all trying to find attention; it is nourishment for your personality. Even if people condemn you, criticize you, are against you, that is acceptable, at least they are paying attention to you; if they are friendly, respectful, of course that is far better, but you cannot survive as a personality without some kind of attention. It can be negative, it can be positive, it doesn't matter. People must say something about you; respectful or disrespectful, both fulfill the same purpose. I would like you to think about the word `respect'. It does not mean honor, as it is said in all the dictionaries without exception. Respect simply means looking again, re-spect. When you are passing by on the road, somebody looks back again, you have caught his eye -- you are somebody. Because respect gives you the idea of being somebody special, you can do anything stupid just to get attention. In all the ages people have tried in a thousand and one ways to get attention. Those ways are not necessarily rational -- for example, the punks in the West. What are they really wanting by cutting their hair in strange and weird ways, and then painting it with different psychedelic colors?What are they wanting? They are beggars. You should not be angry with them because that is what they want. You should not condemn them because that is what they want. Their parents should not criticize them because that is what they want. They cannot survive without people paying attention to them. People have done all kinds of things you may not believe in the past. People have remained naked.... What was the need for Mahavira or Diogenes to be naked? It is no longer natural for man to be naked in all the seasons; he lost that capacity long ago.All animals are naked, but they have a natural immunity. When it is winter their hair grows, when it is hot summer their hair falls. Nature has given them a protection. The same protection was available to man too, but man is intelligent and can improve on nature. He found ways to cover his body according to the seasons. Naturally his body lost the natural growth of hairs. Now, to be naked... suddenly your body cannot create the mechanism to protect you. I know Mahavira or Diogenes are unique individuals, but I think they were a little uncertain of their uniqueness. They fulfilled that suspicion, that missing gap, by being naked, because you cannot avoid giving attention to a naked person in a world where everybody is wearing clothes. The naked person stands aloof. You cannot avoid... it is almost irresistible to look at him, to ask, "What is the matter?"But their nakedness became something spiritual; people started being respectful just because they were naked. Now, nakedness is not a quality or any qualification or any creativity; all the animals, all the birds, all the trees are naked. There are still Jaina monks in India, not more than twenty. They used to be in thousands, but now to find that many stupid people is a little difficult. One Jaina monk dies and is not replaced, so their number goes on falling.
Only twenty people all over India are still naked --and I have seen many of them; they don't show any sign of intelligence, they don't show any quality of silence, they don't show any joy. Their faces are sad, dull, sleepy. They are suffering, they are torturing themselves, just for the simple reason that it brings the attention of the people. Anything, howsoever stupid, is possible for man if it can bring attention to him. In Russia before the revolution there was a Christian sect which used to cut their genitals publicly on a particular day each year -- and they had thousands of followers. Their only qualification for being spiritual was that they had cut their genitals. When the day arrived, they would gather in a church courtyard and they would cut their genitals and pile them up. And thousands of people would come to see this stupidity.The women were not left behind... of course they were in a difficulty because they don't have hanging genitals to cut; their genitals are inwards. They started cutting their breasts -- they were not ready to be left behind. It was such a messy and bloody affair, but people were touching their feet, worshiping them, and all that they have done is just an ugly act against nature and against themselves. What is significant if a man goes on a fast? Mahatma Gandhi used the strategy his whole life: It was nothing but catching the attention of the whole nation. And if he was going to fast unto death, the whole world's attention was immediately caught. Otherwise there is no spirituality in fasting: millions die starving. Millions are going to die in the coming ten, twelve years from starvation. Nobody will give any honor or respect to them. Why? Becausetheir starvation is inevitable. They are not starving wilfully but because they don't have food; they are simply poor and starving people. But Mahatma Gandhi had everything available to him, although he lived like a poor man. One of his intimate followers, a very intelligent woman, Sarojini Naidu -- has a statement on record that to keep Mahatma Gandhi poor they had to spend treasures on him. It was not a simple poverty, it was a managed show. He would not drink the milk from a buffalo because it is rich, rich with vitamin A and other vitamins. He would not drink the milk of a cow because that too is rich, and poor people cannot afford it. He would drink only the milk of a goat, because that is the cheapest animal and poor people can afford it. But you will be surprised: his goat was being washed twice a day with Lux toilet soap! His goat's food consisted of the richest nourishment that any rich man may feel jealous of. It is such an insane world! The goat was given the milk of a cow to drink. Cashew nuts, apples and other nourishing fruits were her only food; she was not living on grass. Her daily food in those old days cost ten rupees per day; that ten rupees per day in those days was enough for a man to live for a whole month. And Gandhi was traveling third class. Naturally, he was attracting attention -- a great man is traveling third class! But nobody saw that the third class compartment, which could have carried sixty people at least, was carrying only a single man; it is far more costly than the air-conditioned compartment. But it attracted attention. Attention gives you tremendous nourishment for the ego.Politicians can pretend to be religious if religion is attractive. Because they need attention their whole personality is false. It depends on how many people are following them; it depends on the number of people who are attentive to them. It is a politics of numbers. The Catholic pope is against birth control, against abortion, not because he is compassionate, saying, "This is absolute cruelty and violence," not because he is life-affirmative -- the whole Catholic attitude is life-negative, it is against life. Then why this insistence that there should be no birth control and no abortion? Because this is the only way to increase the number of Catholics, and this is the only way to make other people so poor that they have to come under the fold of the Catholic empire. Now that there are so many orphans in India, Catholics have a good opportunity. And one wonders... a woman like Mother Teresa is awarded a Nobel prize, is awarded many doctorates in India by Indian universities, is awarded prizes by the Indian government, all because she is taking care of orphans. But nobody thinks that that care simply means converting those orphans into Catholics. Naturally Mother Teresa cannot be in favor of birth control -- from where will she get the orphans? Christianity cannot be in favor of a world which is rich. The scientists are declaring continually that we have come to such a point of technological progress that now there is no need for anybody to be hungry, to be starving or dying because of shortage of food. It has never before been possible, but now scientists are saying that we can feed five billion people very easily, we can feed even more -- but those voices are silenced. No politician pays any attention, because politicians are also interested in having a big following. Your so-called religious leaders, your so-called political leaders, all need attention, all need their names and their photos continually in the newspapers, because if newspapers forget anybody's name for a few months, people forget that man also. Now what do you know about Richard Nixon?Where is that poor fellow? One day he was the greatest, most powerful man on the earth, and now you will only hear about him the day he dies, and that too will be on the third, fourth page of the newspapers in a small column. What happens to these powerful people? When they lose people's attention, their personality starts disappearing. I have known many political leaders in this country. Perhaps this country has more ex-ministers, chief ministers, governors than any other country. Once they become "ex" they are finished. Then nobody pays any attention to them, nobody asks them to inaugurate bridges, railway lines, hospitals, schools. No paper even bothers where they are, whether they are alive or dead. And there was a time when they were in the newspapers every day, on the radios, on television. It is not only your problem, that you are a beggar for attention; it is a human reality. And the reason is that you depend on your personality -- which is false, which has been created by the society, and which can be taken away by society. Don't depend on it. It is not in your power. A group of Jewish mothers were drinking coffee together, and bragging about their children. One had a four-year-old who could read already. Another had a five-year-old who had already appeared on television. Then Becky Goldberg spoke up and said, "That's nothing. You should see my little Hymie. He is only five years old, but the other day he went to the psychiatrist all by himself!" A middle-aged woman confessed to her priest that she was becoming vain."Why do you think so?" asked the priest."Because," replied the woman, "every time I look in the mirror I am inspired by my beauty.""Don't worry," said the priest, "that's not a sin, that's only a mistake!"It was a big meeting of the medical society in honor of an ear specialist who was retiring after more than fifty years of service. As a gift, they presented him with a golden ear. He stood up to make a speech, and after the applause had died down, he looked at his gift and said, "Thank god I was not a gynecologist!"Don't depend on others! Be independent in your being. Just listen to your inner voice. You can listen the moment you start stilling and silencing your mind -- and it is not difficult. And when I say it is not difficult, I say it with absolute authority: It is not difficult! If it has happened to me, it can happen to you -- there is no difference. All human beings are potentially capable to know themselves. And the moment you know yourself, then nobody can take away your individuality. Even if they kill you, they can only kill your body, not you.An individual is the only person who can get rid of this state of begging; otherwise you are going to remain a beggar your whole life. But if you want to get rid of this begging, you will have to get rid of your ego and your personality. You will have to learn that there is nothing in respect, there is nothing in reputation, there is nothing in respectability. They are all bogus words, meaningless, contentless. The reality belongs to you, but unless you discover it, you will have to depend on others.You are emperors, but you have to discover yourself. And this discovery is not difficult: Your kingdom is within you. You just have to learn to close your eyes and look inwards. A little discipline, a little learning not to remain focused on the outside continuously, but to turn inwards at least once or twice a day, whenever you can find time... slowly, slowly you start becoming aware of your eternal being. Then the idea of attention simply disappears.And the miracle is: the day you don't need anybody's attention, people start feeling your charisma, because charisma is the radiation of your individuality. They start feeling that you are somebody special, unique -- although they cannot pinpoint where your uniqueness is, what it is that attracts like a magnet. People who have discovered themselves have found thousands of people attracted towards them, but they are not asking for it.
Only twenty people all over India are still naked --and I have seen many of them; they don't show any sign of intelligence, they don't show any quality of silence, they don't show any joy. Their faces are sad, dull, sleepy. They are suffering, they are torturing themselves, just for the simple reason that it brings the attention of the people. Anything, howsoever stupid, is possible for man if it can bring attention to him. In Russia before the revolution there was a Christian sect which used to cut their genitals publicly on a particular day each year -- and they had thousands of followers. Their only qualification for being spiritual was that they had cut their genitals. When the day arrived, they would gather in a church courtyard and they would cut their genitals and pile them up. And thousands of people would come to see this stupidity.The women were not left behind... of course they were in a difficulty because they don't have hanging genitals to cut; their genitals are inwards. They started cutting their breasts -- they were not ready to be left behind. It was such a messy and bloody affair, but people were touching their feet, worshiping them, and all that they have done is just an ugly act against nature and against themselves. What is significant if a man goes on a fast? Mahatma Gandhi used the strategy his whole life: It was nothing but catching the attention of the whole nation. And if he was going to fast unto death, the whole world's attention was immediately caught. Otherwise there is no spirituality in fasting: millions die starving. Millions are going to die in the coming ten, twelve years from starvation. Nobody will give any honor or respect to them. Why? Becausetheir starvation is inevitable. They are not starving wilfully but because they don't have food; they are simply poor and starving people. But Mahatma Gandhi had everything available to him, although he lived like a poor man. One of his intimate followers, a very intelligent woman, Sarojini Naidu -- has a statement on record that to keep Mahatma Gandhi poor they had to spend treasures on him. It was not a simple poverty, it was a managed show. He would not drink the milk from a buffalo because it is rich, rich with vitamin A and other vitamins. He would not drink the milk of a cow because that too is rich, and poor people cannot afford it. He would drink only the milk of a goat, because that is the cheapest animal and poor people can afford it. But you will be surprised: his goat was being washed twice a day with Lux toilet soap! His goat's food consisted of the richest nourishment that any rich man may feel jealous of. It is such an insane world! The goat was given the milk of a cow to drink. Cashew nuts, apples and other nourishing fruits were her only food; she was not living on grass. Her daily food in those old days cost ten rupees per day; that ten rupees per day in those days was enough for a man to live for a whole month. And Gandhi was traveling third class. Naturally, he was attracting attention -- a great man is traveling third class! But nobody saw that the third class compartment, which could have carried sixty people at least, was carrying only a single man; it is far more costly than the air-conditioned compartment. But it attracted attention. Attention gives you tremendous nourishment for the ego.Politicians can pretend to be religious if religion is attractive. Because they need attention their whole personality is false. It depends on how many people are following them; it depends on the number of people who are attentive to them. It is a politics of numbers. The Catholic pope is against birth control, against abortion, not because he is compassionate, saying, "This is absolute cruelty and violence," not because he is life-affirmative -- the whole Catholic attitude is life-negative, it is against life. Then why this insistence that there should be no birth control and no abortion? Because this is the only way to increase the number of Catholics, and this is the only way to make other people so poor that they have to come under the fold of the Catholic empire. Now that there are so many orphans in India, Catholics have a good opportunity. And one wonders... a woman like Mother Teresa is awarded a Nobel prize, is awarded many doctorates in India by Indian universities, is awarded prizes by the Indian government, all because she is taking care of orphans. But nobody thinks that that care simply means converting those orphans into Catholics. Naturally Mother Teresa cannot be in favor of birth control -- from where will she get the orphans? Christianity cannot be in favor of a world which is rich. The scientists are declaring continually that we have come to such a point of technological progress that now there is no need for anybody to be hungry, to be starving or dying because of shortage of food. It has never before been possible, but now scientists are saying that we can feed five billion people very easily, we can feed even more -- but those voices are silenced. No politician pays any attention, because politicians are also interested in having a big following. Your so-called religious leaders, your so-called political leaders, all need attention, all need their names and their photos continually in the newspapers, because if newspapers forget anybody's name for a few months, people forget that man also. Now what do you know about Richard Nixon?Where is that poor fellow? One day he was the greatest, most powerful man on the earth, and now you will only hear about him the day he dies, and that too will be on the third, fourth page of the newspapers in a small column. What happens to these powerful people? When they lose people's attention, their personality starts disappearing. I have known many political leaders in this country. Perhaps this country has more ex-ministers, chief ministers, governors than any other country. Once they become "ex" they are finished. Then nobody pays any attention to them, nobody asks them to inaugurate bridges, railway lines, hospitals, schools. No paper even bothers where they are, whether they are alive or dead. And there was a time when they were in the newspapers every day, on the radios, on television. It is not only your problem, that you are a beggar for attention; it is a human reality. And the reason is that you depend on your personality -- which is false, which has been created by the society, and which can be taken away by society. Don't depend on it. It is not in your power. A group of Jewish mothers were drinking coffee together, and bragging about their children. One had a four-year-old who could read already. Another had a five-year-old who had already appeared on television. Then Becky Goldberg spoke up and said, "That's nothing. You should see my little Hymie. He is only five years old, but the other day he went to the psychiatrist all by himself!" A middle-aged woman confessed to her priest that she was becoming vain."Why do you think so?" asked the priest."Because," replied the woman, "every time I look in the mirror I am inspired by my beauty.""Don't worry," said the priest, "that's not a sin, that's only a mistake!"It was a big meeting of the medical society in honor of an ear specialist who was retiring after more than fifty years of service. As a gift, they presented him with a golden ear. He stood up to make a speech, and after the applause had died down, he looked at his gift and said, "Thank god I was not a gynecologist!"Don't depend on others! Be independent in your being. Just listen to your inner voice. You can listen the moment you start stilling and silencing your mind -- and it is not difficult. And when I say it is not difficult, I say it with absolute authority: It is not difficult! If it has happened to me, it can happen to you -- there is no difference. All human beings are potentially capable to know themselves. And the moment you know yourself, then nobody can take away your individuality. Even if they kill you, they can only kill your body, not you.An individual is the only person who can get rid of this state of begging; otherwise you are going to remain a beggar your whole life. But if you want to get rid of this begging, you will have to get rid of your ego and your personality. You will have to learn that there is nothing in respect, there is nothing in reputation, there is nothing in respectability. They are all bogus words, meaningless, contentless. The reality belongs to you, but unless you discover it, you will have to depend on others.You are emperors, but you have to discover yourself. And this discovery is not difficult: Your kingdom is within you. You just have to learn to close your eyes and look inwards. A little discipline, a little learning not to remain focused on the outside continuously, but to turn inwards at least once or twice a day, whenever you can find time... slowly, slowly you start becoming aware of your eternal being. Then the idea of attention simply disappears.And the miracle is: the day you don't need anybody's attention, people start feeling your charisma, because charisma is the radiation of your individuality. They start feeling that you are somebody special, unique -- although they cannot pinpoint where your uniqueness is, what it is that attracts like a magnet. People who have discovered themselves have found thousands of people attracted towards them, but they are not asking for it.
I still don't accept myself. Why Not?
IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE CONDITIONED to be perfectionists, and perfection is such an ideal that everybody falls short of it. Then condemnation, self-condemnation arises. These are the tricks that have been played upon you -- beware of these tricks. It is time that man should be mature enough to know that imperfection is the way of life. Everything is imperfect, and it is beautiful that things are imperfect. If everything was perfect and everyone was perfect, life would be so dull and boring that it would be impossible to tolerate it even for a single moment.
I perfectly agree with Bertrand Russell. He used to say that he did not want to go to heaven -- jokingly, humorously, because in fact he never believed that there is any heaven or hell. But he used to say, "Even if there is heaven I would prefer hell because in hell you will find good company."
In heaven you are bound to be bored, utterly bored. Just think -- living with saints for eternity! Mahatma Gandhi sitting on one side and so many saints, Jaina, Hindu, Mohammedan, Christian, Buddhist, and to only live with them! They don't even know how to play poker, they don't even drink beer! Beer? They will not even be ready to drink Coca-Cola, because there is cocaine in it! And smoking of course is not possible in heaven because cigarettes contain nicotine. In fact, life will be so impossible with these saints. And they will never laugh -- laughter is for imperfect human beings.
Christians say Jesus never laughed. If the Christians are right, then Jesus must have been absolutely wrong. But I know that they are not right. Jesus must have laughed, must have -- his whole life says so. He enjoyed the small things of life; he even enjoyed drinking wine. Now I don't think your saints will allow him into heaven; they will call him a drunkard and throw him out. And he lived with drunkards and gamblers and prostitutes. Your saints will be very angry. The rabbis who crucified Jesus may be allowed into heaven, but not Jesus. He is too human, too alive, too imperfect.
Bertrand Russell is right that in heaven you are not going to find good company. You will see sad faces, long faces, everybody almost dead. And what will these people be doing there? No gossipping -- you cannot even sermonize because to whom will you sermonize? They are all sermonizers! You cannot find disciples in heaven -- they are all Masters! And Jainas say no woman has ever entered heaven. Now you see the utter boredom? Just these ugly, half-starving saints and not even a single woman! It will be like a desert without any oasis.
Have you seen? If a dozen men are sitting in a room, it is full of a certain vibe. And let one beautiful woman enter and the vibration immediately changes. The desert is no longer a desert; an oasis has come in. They all become alive, their kundalinis start rising! Those who had fallen asleep wake up. Buddhas go on saying, "Wake up!" and they won't listen. But just let Sophia Loren enter and immediately all the saints are alive, awake, fully awake!
But Jainas say no woman can enter into heaven. If a woman is religious and spiritual she will be born in her next life as a man and then she can go to heaven, but only from a man's body, never from a woman's body. As if souls were also male and female! As if bodies also went to heaven! What kind of stupidity is this? But the fear.... A woman can create a disturbance and, naturally, if for centuries no woman has entered into heaven and suddenly one woman enters, there will be a great commotion, there will be a great disturbance, chaos and a great fight will break out. And all the saints will be at each others' throats -- a jihad, a religious war for the woman! Everybody will be ready to die!You have been told to be perfectionists. That's why, Leena, this problem arises. It is not only your problem, it is everybody's problem.
But remember a few things. First: All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.Even evil is to be accepted because evil is potential vitality in need of transformation. Anger is potential vitality -- accept it. I am not saying that you should remain angry; it is through acceptance that you can transform anger into compassion. It is the same energy that becomes compassion. I am not saying remain sexual for your whole life, but it is the energy of sex that becomes love and it is the energy of love that becomes prayer. Go on transforming it. But if you reject it from the very beginning, how are you going to transform it? If you condemn it you create a barrier between yourself and your own energy; now no transformation is possible. You become antagonistic, you become split.
You are divided, constantly in conflict with yourself. Your life becomes a sheer wastage.And I know that you commit many mistakes, but to err is human. It is nothing to be worried about, nothing to make so much fuss about. It is how one learns, it is how one by and by becomes mature. The man who never commits any mistake never grows either. It is by going astray that one learns.
Hence, Leena, learn to forgive yourself again and again and again and again, because life is a constant growth. You will have to forgive yourself thousands of times. And if you cannot forgive yourself, who is going to forgive you? But you have been taught wrong values, wrong ideals and they are heavy on your head. Don't be worried about small things -- enjoy them. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends -- yes, you too, and most certainly I myself. So don't be worried at all.
Even Buddhas have to create false devices. I have to trick you into things which you will not enter into in any other way. I have to create devices. All devices are false; they have to be false because your illnesses are false.
For example, you are suffering from ego; now I say, "Surrender." In the first place the ego is a false entity, there is no ego at all. You are simply dreaming, you are making it up. But what to do? You have made it so big a thing that I tell you, "Please, surrender it to me." Rather than telling you that it doesn't exist -- you won't understand right now -- it is better to tell you, "Give it to me, surrender it." And you feel good that you can at least do something with your ego -- you can surrender. It appeals to your logic.
It is like homeopathy: the illness is false, the medicine is false -- just sugar pills, nothing to be worried about. Whenever you are suffering from false diseases -- and remember, out of one hundred, almost seventy-five percent are false -- rather than torture my doctors in the Medical Center, go to Narendra Bodhisattva. He is the homeopath, although he has not been able to cure his own headache! He has suffered from headaches his whole life. And he will not be able to cure himself -- that is the difficulty -- because he knows that all those pills are just sugar pills, but he helps others. He has helped many people, he has cured many people's headaches, and he feels puzzled, "What is the matter? Why can't I cure my own headache?"
That's the difficulty with false medicines: if you know, they are useless. But others you can cure easily. That's why there are so many "pathies." Except for allopathy, all "pathies" are more or less psychological. But they have a great appeal for the simple reason that if you go to the allopath and your illness is false he will say, "It is all in your mind." That does not feel good: "All in my mind?" You don't like that idea at all. You immediately start looking for some ayurvedic physician. And they are clever people -- they have to be very clever. You start searching for some homeopath, some naturopath, and there are hundreds of "pathies" available. And all "pathies" work, they all help, so as far as help is concerned they are all helpful.
If you go to the ayurvedic physician he will never say that it is in your mind, never. He will talk much about your disease, he will analyze the disease. He may even go to your past lives, he may look at your hand, he may read the lines, he may even ask you to bring your birth chart. Now this man seems to know what he is doing, and that foolish allopath doctor, he was simply saying, "It is in your head." Now he is puffing up your ego. He is telling you your disease is really very dangerous and it needs a long treatment and a very careful treatment and you need a real genius of a physician -- and you have come to the right person now. And he will be able to help you. He will give you all kinds of things which are really of no value, no medicinal value. But if you start believing in him.... If you go to the homeopath he will ask your whole life history -- three hours he will give to you.Now people who suffer from false diseases also suffer from talking about their diseases; they like very much to talk about their diseases. They magnify their diseases, they make them as big as possible. They have nothing else to brag about, but they have big diseases, great diseases. And the homeopath buttresses your ego.I used to know a very famous homeopath doctor, a certain Dr Mukerji. He was a famous homeopath in all of India. For three days he would simply talk about your past diseases -- from your very childhood when you were three years of age, as far back as you can remember, and he would write down everything. And you are just suffering from a headache! And he would go back to the age of three because he would say that a history begins there. "No disease is a separate phenomenon, it is a continuity." And it seems logical: "Everything is connected with everything else, nothing is discontinuous. Everything relates to everything else so unless we go to the roots...." He would say, "I don't touch the leaves, I go to the roots."Once I took my father to him. My father was very interested in homeopathy, so much so that when he started talking about his childhood he started talking about the childhood of his grandfather; he always started from there.Dr Mukerji looked a little worried. I laughed. I said, "Now you have the right patient! Now you will know -- three days won't do!"My father always used to start from his grandfather's illnesses, then his father's illnesses, then his illnesses. It took almost ten days!Dr Mukerji met me one day in the garden. He said, "I am tired! You please take your father to some other doctor -- he is a very dangerous person. I have never come across such a person, but I cannot say anything to him because he is following the homeopathic principle exactly. And if one man's life diseases are connected, then certainly the son's diseases are connected with the father's diseases and the father's with the grandfather's."
I said, "You should be happy that he does not know anything about his other ancestors, that he knows only up to his grandfather! Otherwise it would have taken years for him to come first to his own illness!" And what was his illness? He was suffering for two, three days from a stomach upset. And I knew what the reason was: he always used to suffer whenever he would eat cucumbers. That was the simple reason -- cucumbers, nothing else! No need to go to the father and the grandfather.
And I told Mukerji, "Now you know your homeopathic principle can be dangerous. You are a homeopathic doctor and he is a homeopathic patient -- be patient! Listen silently to him. That's why I have brought him to you -- he will put you right! His problem is very simple, not connected at all with any disease; he has just eaten cucumbers and they always give him stomach ache. It is as simple as that!"Homeopathy helps you because it accepts your illnesses very seriously and that's what you want really, that's exactly what your desire is: you want attention, and a doctor listening to you silently....
That's the whole secret of psychoanalysis, particularly Freudian psychoanalysis: it helps the patient without doing anything; the psychotherapist just goes on listening. The patient goes on talking for months, for years even, and the doctor has to be very patient and just listen. Whether he listens or not, that is not the point; he has to pretend at least that he is listening very attentively, and that helps.
The Buddhas have devised many false methods. In fact, all methods are bound to be false because your spiritual illnesses are all false, because your spiritual being can never be ill; it is just your belief. And your belief has to be destroyed by something which can appeal to you in the mind in which you are right now.Leena, don't be worried.You say: I STILL DON T ACCEPT MYSELF.Why? What you have done? A few mistakes here and there. Maybe you lied once to somebody, maybe you deceived somebody. So what? This whole life is a drama and we are all actors. And a little bit of cheating is perfectly okay -- it makes life a little juicy, it gives life a little spice! Otherwise everybody telling just the truth.... That happens to a few foolish people who go through Encounter and Gestalt -- this happens. They start telling the truth to anybody! Stupid people are stupid people -- they won't understand anything.
They write to me: "Osho, now I am in trouble. I have been through Encounter and I have learned that one has to be authentic and one has to be true. So I told my wife that many times I feel like going with some woman. Now there is great trouble -- my life has become a nightmare. We are continuously quarreling. Before this Encounter everything was going smoothly. Now the Encounter is finished, Teertha is gone, but with my wife the Encounter continues! And now there seems to be no end to it. What should I do now?"
You need not be so foolish. In an Encounter group be authentic -- even if you have to lie, lie and be authentic! If you don't know how to be authentic, pretend to be authentic, enjoy being authentic. But don't carry this nonsense everywhere and don't create troubles for yourself.
Just think: if even for twenty-four hours everybody on the earth decides to tell the exact truth, there will be no world -- finished! Just think in your mind: twenty-four hours... everybody telling the exact truth and nothing else... nobody will be a friend to you; you will not find two friends in the whole world. Every couple will be divorced. Children will leave their parents, parents will leave their children. All will be finished! No customers will come to any shop. The world will come to a stop immediately -- nirvana for the whole world in a single blow!
This world needs a few lies too. It makes life smooth, it helps. Lies are like lubricants.Leena, start accepting yourself as you are. And watch, be alert. Of course, ninety percent of it will be transformed -- and the ten percent will become more skillful!
I perfectly agree with Bertrand Russell. He used to say that he did not want to go to heaven -- jokingly, humorously, because in fact he never believed that there is any heaven or hell. But he used to say, "Even if there is heaven I would prefer hell because in hell you will find good company."
In heaven you are bound to be bored, utterly bored. Just think -- living with saints for eternity! Mahatma Gandhi sitting on one side and so many saints, Jaina, Hindu, Mohammedan, Christian, Buddhist, and to only live with them! They don't even know how to play poker, they don't even drink beer! Beer? They will not even be ready to drink Coca-Cola, because there is cocaine in it! And smoking of course is not possible in heaven because cigarettes contain nicotine. In fact, life will be so impossible with these saints. And they will never laugh -- laughter is for imperfect human beings.
Christians say Jesus never laughed. If the Christians are right, then Jesus must have been absolutely wrong. But I know that they are not right. Jesus must have laughed, must have -- his whole life says so. He enjoyed the small things of life; he even enjoyed drinking wine. Now I don't think your saints will allow him into heaven; they will call him a drunkard and throw him out. And he lived with drunkards and gamblers and prostitutes. Your saints will be very angry. The rabbis who crucified Jesus may be allowed into heaven, but not Jesus. He is too human, too alive, too imperfect.
Bertrand Russell is right that in heaven you are not going to find good company. You will see sad faces, long faces, everybody almost dead. And what will these people be doing there? No gossipping -- you cannot even sermonize because to whom will you sermonize? They are all sermonizers! You cannot find disciples in heaven -- they are all Masters! And Jainas say no woman has ever entered heaven. Now you see the utter boredom? Just these ugly, half-starving saints and not even a single woman! It will be like a desert without any oasis.
Have you seen? If a dozen men are sitting in a room, it is full of a certain vibe. And let one beautiful woman enter and the vibration immediately changes. The desert is no longer a desert; an oasis has come in. They all become alive, their kundalinis start rising! Those who had fallen asleep wake up. Buddhas go on saying, "Wake up!" and they won't listen. But just let Sophia Loren enter and immediately all the saints are alive, awake, fully awake!
But Jainas say no woman can enter into heaven. If a woman is religious and spiritual she will be born in her next life as a man and then she can go to heaven, but only from a man's body, never from a woman's body. As if souls were also male and female! As if bodies also went to heaven! What kind of stupidity is this? But the fear.... A woman can create a disturbance and, naturally, if for centuries no woman has entered into heaven and suddenly one woman enters, there will be a great commotion, there will be a great disturbance, chaos and a great fight will break out. And all the saints will be at each others' throats -- a jihad, a religious war for the woman! Everybody will be ready to die!You have been told to be perfectionists. That's why, Leena, this problem arises. It is not only your problem, it is everybody's problem.
But remember a few things. First: All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.Even evil is to be accepted because evil is potential vitality in need of transformation. Anger is potential vitality -- accept it. I am not saying that you should remain angry; it is through acceptance that you can transform anger into compassion. It is the same energy that becomes compassion. I am not saying remain sexual for your whole life, but it is the energy of sex that becomes love and it is the energy of love that becomes prayer. Go on transforming it. But if you reject it from the very beginning, how are you going to transform it? If you condemn it you create a barrier between yourself and your own energy; now no transformation is possible. You become antagonistic, you become split.
You are divided, constantly in conflict with yourself. Your life becomes a sheer wastage.And I know that you commit many mistakes, but to err is human. It is nothing to be worried about, nothing to make so much fuss about. It is how one learns, it is how one by and by becomes mature. The man who never commits any mistake never grows either. It is by going astray that one learns.
Hence, Leena, learn to forgive yourself again and again and again and again, because life is a constant growth. You will have to forgive yourself thousands of times. And if you cannot forgive yourself, who is going to forgive you? But you have been taught wrong values, wrong ideals and they are heavy on your head. Don't be worried about small things -- enjoy them. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends -- yes, you too, and most certainly I myself. So don't be worried at all.
Even Buddhas have to create false devices. I have to trick you into things which you will not enter into in any other way. I have to create devices. All devices are false; they have to be false because your illnesses are false.
For example, you are suffering from ego; now I say, "Surrender." In the first place the ego is a false entity, there is no ego at all. You are simply dreaming, you are making it up. But what to do? You have made it so big a thing that I tell you, "Please, surrender it to me." Rather than telling you that it doesn't exist -- you won't understand right now -- it is better to tell you, "Give it to me, surrender it." And you feel good that you can at least do something with your ego -- you can surrender. It appeals to your logic.
It is like homeopathy: the illness is false, the medicine is false -- just sugar pills, nothing to be worried about. Whenever you are suffering from false diseases -- and remember, out of one hundred, almost seventy-five percent are false -- rather than torture my doctors in the Medical Center, go to Narendra Bodhisattva. He is the homeopath, although he has not been able to cure his own headache! He has suffered from headaches his whole life. And he will not be able to cure himself -- that is the difficulty -- because he knows that all those pills are just sugar pills, but he helps others. He has helped many people, he has cured many people's headaches, and he feels puzzled, "What is the matter? Why can't I cure my own headache?"
That's the difficulty with false medicines: if you know, they are useless. But others you can cure easily. That's why there are so many "pathies." Except for allopathy, all "pathies" are more or less psychological. But they have a great appeal for the simple reason that if you go to the allopath and your illness is false he will say, "It is all in your mind." That does not feel good: "All in my mind?" You don't like that idea at all. You immediately start looking for some ayurvedic physician. And they are clever people -- they have to be very clever. You start searching for some homeopath, some naturopath, and there are hundreds of "pathies" available. And all "pathies" work, they all help, so as far as help is concerned they are all helpful.
If you go to the ayurvedic physician he will never say that it is in your mind, never. He will talk much about your disease, he will analyze the disease. He may even go to your past lives, he may look at your hand, he may read the lines, he may even ask you to bring your birth chart. Now this man seems to know what he is doing, and that foolish allopath doctor, he was simply saying, "It is in your head." Now he is puffing up your ego. He is telling you your disease is really very dangerous and it needs a long treatment and a very careful treatment and you need a real genius of a physician -- and you have come to the right person now. And he will be able to help you. He will give you all kinds of things which are really of no value, no medicinal value. But if you start believing in him.... If you go to the homeopath he will ask your whole life history -- three hours he will give to you.Now people who suffer from false diseases also suffer from talking about their diseases; they like very much to talk about their diseases. They magnify their diseases, they make them as big as possible. They have nothing else to brag about, but they have big diseases, great diseases. And the homeopath buttresses your ego.I used to know a very famous homeopath doctor, a certain Dr Mukerji. He was a famous homeopath in all of India. For three days he would simply talk about your past diseases -- from your very childhood when you were three years of age, as far back as you can remember, and he would write down everything. And you are just suffering from a headache! And he would go back to the age of three because he would say that a history begins there. "No disease is a separate phenomenon, it is a continuity." And it seems logical: "Everything is connected with everything else, nothing is discontinuous. Everything relates to everything else so unless we go to the roots...." He would say, "I don't touch the leaves, I go to the roots."Once I took my father to him. My father was very interested in homeopathy, so much so that when he started talking about his childhood he started talking about the childhood of his grandfather; he always started from there.Dr Mukerji looked a little worried. I laughed. I said, "Now you have the right patient! Now you will know -- three days won't do!"My father always used to start from his grandfather's illnesses, then his father's illnesses, then his illnesses. It took almost ten days!Dr Mukerji met me one day in the garden. He said, "I am tired! You please take your father to some other doctor -- he is a very dangerous person. I have never come across such a person, but I cannot say anything to him because he is following the homeopathic principle exactly. And if one man's life diseases are connected, then certainly the son's diseases are connected with the father's diseases and the father's with the grandfather's."
I said, "You should be happy that he does not know anything about his other ancestors, that he knows only up to his grandfather! Otherwise it would have taken years for him to come first to his own illness!" And what was his illness? He was suffering for two, three days from a stomach upset. And I knew what the reason was: he always used to suffer whenever he would eat cucumbers. That was the simple reason -- cucumbers, nothing else! No need to go to the father and the grandfather.
And I told Mukerji, "Now you know your homeopathic principle can be dangerous. You are a homeopathic doctor and he is a homeopathic patient -- be patient! Listen silently to him. That's why I have brought him to you -- he will put you right! His problem is very simple, not connected at all with any disease; he has just eaten cucumbers and they always give him stomach ache. It is as simple as that!"Homeopathy helps you because it accepts your illnesses very seriously and that's what you want really, that's exactly what your desire is: you want attention, and a doctor listening to you silently....
That's the whole secret of psychoanalysis, particularly Freudian psychoanalysis: it helps the patient without doing anything; the psychotherapist just goes on listening. The patient goes on talking for months, for years even, and the doctor has to be very patient and just listen. Whether he listens or not, that is not the point; he has to pretend at least that he is listening very attentively, and that helps.
The Buddhas have devised many false methods. In fact, all methods are bound to be false because your spiritual illnesses are all false, because your spiritual being can never be ill; it is just your belief. And your belief has to be destroyed by something which can appeal to you in the mind in which you are right now.Leena, don't be worried.You say: I STILL DON T ACCEPT MYSELF.Why? What you have done? A few mistakes here and there. Maybe you lied once to somebody, maybe you deceived somebody. So what? This whole life is a drama and we are all actors. And a little bit of cheating is perfectly okay -- it makes life a little juicy, it gives life a little spice! Otherwise everybody telling just the truth.... That happens to a few foolish people who go through Encounter and Gestalt -- this happens. They start telling the truth to anybody! Stupid people are stupid people -- they won't understand anything.
They write to me: "Osho, now I am in trouble. I have been through Encounter and I have learned that one has to be authentic and one has to be true. So I told my wife that many times I feel like going with some woman. Now there is great trouble -- my life has become a nightmare. We are continuously quarreling. Before this Encounter everything was going smoothly. Now the Encounter is finished, Teertha is gone, but with my wife the Encounter continues! And now there seems to be no end to it. What should I do now?"
You need not be so foolish. In an Encounter group be authentic -- even if you have to lie, lie and be authentic! If you don't know how to be authentic, pretend to be authentic, enjoy being authentic. But don't carry this nonsense everywhere and don't create troubles for yourself.
Just think: if even for twenty-four hours everybody on the earth decides to tell the exact truth, there will be no world -- finished! Just think in your mind: twenty-four hours... everybody telling the exact truth and nothing else... nobody will be a friend to you; you will not find two friends in the whole world. Every couple will be divorced. Children will leave their parents, parents will leave their children. All will be finished! No customers will come to any shop. The world will come to a stop immediately -- nirvana for the whole world in a single blow!
This world needs a few lies too. It makes life smooth, it helps. Lies are like lubricants.Leena, start accepting yourself as you are. And watch, be alert. Of course, ninety percent of it will be transformed -- and the ten percent will become more skillful!
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